


Stuck behind the glass and the walls are closing in

by Lilly_C



Series: Inking It Out (1) [72]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Disappointment, Episode: s05e09 Thirty Days, F/M, Gen, Imprisonment, Isolation, References to Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-02 20:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19448551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly_C/pseuds/Lilly_C
Summary: Janeway briefly moved away to remove the barriers to his cell at the security console, stepping inside once they were deactivated. “You’ve been a model prisoner,” she stated. “I was expecting to receive reports of a hunger strike or a one man riot.”





	Stuck behind the glass and the walls are closing in

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kangeiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangeiko/gifts).



> Takes place during Thirty Days with references to Prime Factors. The title is from Flaws by Olly Murs.

It had only been a few days since he was last in this part of the ship, fondly regaling the Captain of his love of Jules Verne and other nautical adventure stories. Here he was again, this time standing in front of her doing all he could not to react to the punishment that awaited him for disobeying direct orders and of course Star Fleet rules – the rules he was once and sometimes still is convinced were only there to mock him for not living up to the societal expectations of being an Admiral’s son.

He wanted to say something, anything, yet all he could do was look defiantly at her knowing that for the first time in a long time his actions and behaviour, although justified by his own admission, had truly hurt someone that he cared about and had long considered to be family to him.

_Thomas Eugene Paris, I hear by demote you to the rank of Ensign and to thirty days solitary confinement._

**Day 3:** Having spent time in prison colonies on Earth, Tom knew that a twice daily meal of Leola Root Stew, Bread and Water were nowhere close to being an acceptable form basic nutrition. It looked and tasted more like the gruel so frequently given to characters in a Charles Dickens novel. 

The hunger strike was always an option but he knew that she would see it for what it was, an attention seeking stunt and it certainly wouldn’t get her to visit and talk. That was what he really wanted.

Instead, he used the PADD Neelix had brought to him and tried without success to tell her what this highly excessive reprimand was already doing to him. He was already starting to see shadows of people and objects that weren’t there, trying not to start talking in case the duty security officer mistakenly believed that he wanted to have a conversation with them when he was trying to combat the earliest mental effects of isolation.

He erased the short recording and lay down on the bunk, closing his eyes until Neelix brought his next meal. Sleep has been always the easiest option when there was nothing do or no one to talk to.

 **Day 10:** Not being in the thick of the action during a red alert felt like an even crueller blow than the demotion and isolation. The only reprieve was having The Doctor come to check his head injury, it didn’t hurt him, but he still tried every single trick in the book to be transferred to sickbay. 

The Doctor wouldn’t budge on his official diagnosis of a boo boo, and he wondered why Janeway had waited in the corridor rather than come in when he had heard her talking outside, her voice was distinctive and instantly recognisable even during isolation. “Too soon for her,” he muttered to himself.

Once The Doctor had left, he tried again with his letter to the Captain.

 **Day 16:** A friendly face and a friend. “I thought that you’d forgotten about me,” Tom joked, it felt painfully flat.

“Never,” Harry replied. “Look, I’m only here because I took extra shifts on the bridge because you’re in here.” It came out harsher than he had intended. “Sorry Tom, I...”

Tom waved his apology. “It’s okay. I get it. The Captain wants everyone working twice as hard so that she can feel better about throwing me in here.” There it was, the pity party he’d been trying and failing to hold back while he had visitors. He would have preferred a visit from B’Elanna, but he realised that neither would be able to handle seeing him at his current lowest point too well.

“Fourteen days,” Harry started, “Running the Captain Proton holodeck program just isn’t the same without you.”

 **Day 25:** It was after official visiting hours when the Captain decided to visit him. “You’re a surprise,” he said to Janeway, who was now standing in front of his cell, needing to see for herself as she didn’t quite believe some of the things that were in the progress reports she had received over the last twenty five days.

“You have five days to go on your sentence,” she started. Tom raised his hand, stopping her from finishing whatever she was going to say. “Don’t, just don’t.”

Janeway briefly moved away from the cell to remove the barriers at the security console, quickly stepping inside once they were deactivated. “You’ve been a model prisoner,” she stated. “I was expecting to receive reports of a hunger strike or a one man riot.”

“Sorry to disappoint you. Again.”

Janeway sighed. Tom wasn’t going to make this visit or long overdue conversation easy for her and she was determined not to fall into the impending antagonistic back and forth he clearly wanted and expected.

“I still believe that helping Riga to take affirmative action when it became clear to us that the Moneans weren’t even going to consider our findings, was the right thing to do. I know that I disobeyed direct orders and broke fuck knows how many of your precious bullshit Star Fleet principles, but helping one man to save eighty thousand is one of my best moments and I’m sorry that you don’t see that or even understand it, especially after the Sikarians.”

She had a feeling before arriving that he would bring that unfortunate encounter up at some point, just not this early into her visit. It was going to be like ripping a band aid off really quickly to get it over and done with. “I admit that I made several mistakes with how I handled the Sikarians, more so, for not fully realising that Gath’s true intentions were dishonest and dishonourable.”

“Tuvok didn’t...”

“It wasn’t just Tuvok who received a reprimand. B’Elanna did too.”

Learning that B’Elanna was involved surprised him as she never talked to him about some of the more rebellious things that she had done during their earliest days in the Delta Quadrant. He had always assumed that she was just adjusting to a new way of life, dealing with everyone else on the ship, all while trying to find some kind of normalcy in a crew thrown together following an impulsive decision.

“I told B’Elanna that I was disappointed to learn of her involvement in the scheme, and then i dismissed her. Tuvok’s involvement was harder for me to comprehend because he did one of the most un-Vulcan things that I know of. He once told me that logic is only a way to do things, not a reason for doing them. While I was upset by his actions _-betrayal-_ I realised that he had actually saved the ship from a potential mutiny especially when it was discovered that the technology they were offering to us wasn’t compatible with our systems and could have destroyed Voyager had we used it.”

“Hmm,” was all that he could come up with having seen first hand the detrimental effect that the Vulcan’s actions had on her at the time. He was certain that it was also when she had slowly started to retreat from socialising with the crew whenever they were off duty.

He realised that this punishment was a way for her to show him the isolation and loneliness that she lived with on a daily basis. Needing to break the heavy atmosphere between them, he casually asked, “When I get out of here, what happens?”

“You’ll be on the duty roster, but only Gamma shift to start with and your holodeck privileges will be heavily reduced. You will also be taking on additional duties in sickbay and the mess hall.”

He suppressed a groan at the impending mess hall duties. Taking a chance, he asked, “When will I be reinstated as a Lieutenant?”

“Keep out of trouble and we’ll see but there will be others helping me with that decision.”

Tom handed Janeway the PADD he’d been using to pass the time during his incarceration. “I hope this helps you to understand everything that I did a little better.”

Stepping out of the cell, Janeway once again used the security console to reinstate the barriers. “Goodnight Tom,” she said on her way out of the brig.

 **Day 30:** Having had a restless and ultimately sleepless final night in the brig, and taking Tuvok’s advice to shave first, Tom kept glancing around his quarters wondering when the other shoe would drop and he’d end up in there again.


End file.
